Ryan Calls Nomination Greatest Triumph Since Winning Tour de France : The New Yorker

Ryan Calls Nomination Greatest Triumph Since Winning Tour de France : The New Yorker

Jump on the Rand Wagon! How Ryan Resurrected Ayn | Observer

Jump on the Rand Wagon! How Ryan Resurrected Ayn | Observer

MR. ROTHFUS, FORMER BUSH FEMA OFFICAL, WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS HAVE PERUSED YOUR STATEMENT ON YOUR RESCHEDULED RNC TAMPA CONVENTION SPEECH. THE STATEMENT READS THAT YOU DIDN’T GET YOUR CANCER TREATMENTS IN CANADA OR LONDON. OK, SO KEITH THE CANDIDATE WHERE DID YOU GET THIS FINE INNOVATIVE CANCER TREATMENT? YOUR CANCER TREATMENTS WEREN’T IN ONE OF THOSE PLUSH BELTWAY CANCER CENTERS, THAT THE BELTWAY ELITE PATRONIZE, WAS IT? EXPOITING YOU CANCER SURVIVOR STATUS FOR PARTISAN POLITICAL PURPOSES IS SINFUL! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU MR. ROTHFUS HAVE A BIOGRAPHY OF BEING MIA FOR CANCER SURVIVORS AND CANCER RESEARCH IN WESTERN PA!

KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS, WE CITIZEN JOURNALIST HAVE BIG HEARTS! PLEASE BEWARE OF FORMER JOURNALIST AND THE ANGRY STRIPPER, SARAH TRESSLER! IF YOU OR OTHER YOUNG GUNS FIND A STRIPPER, WHO WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU DURING A LAP DANCE, I WOULD BE VERY CAUTIOUS! IT COULD BE THE ANGRY STRIPPER HERSELF!

MR. KEITH ROTHFUS, FORMER OF EMPLOYEE OF PAT ROBERTSON. YOUR FORMER EMPLOYER COULD HAVE SAVED THE RNC CONVENTION FROM HURRICANE ISAAC! BUT YOU GOP EXTREMISTS ARE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME GRAPPLING WITH ALL THOSE TEMPTATIONS IN THE TAMPA STRIP CLUBS! WE CITiZEN JOURNALISTS IN JESUS’S NAME FORBID YOU TO SELL OUT OUR CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT TO BELTWAY ELITES AND GLOBAL INTERESTS!

QUESTION FOR THE ROTHFUS CAMPAIGN: HOW MUCH DOES THE RYAN BUDGET CUT FROM GOVERNMENT-FUNDED CANCER RESEARCH AND THE NIH? SELLING OUT CANCER VICTIMS, WHOSE LAST HOPE MAYBE THE NEXT ADVANCE IN RESEARCH IS A TERRIBLE THING, ESPECIALLY FROM A TEA PARTY GUY WHO WANTS TO PLAY THE CANCER CARD!

SAVE WESTERN PA MIDDLE CLASS CONVENTION MESSAGE TO KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS: THE PA 12TH CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT IS NOT FOR SALE, EVEN IN TAMPA!!

SAVE WESTERN PA MIDDLE CLASS CALLS UPON THE ROTHFUS CAMPAIGN TO RELEASE KEITH THE CANDIDATE’S FULL TAMPA CONVENTION SCHEDULE. MR. ROTHFUS, WE DON’T CARE HOW MANY STRIP CLUBS YOU VISIT. WHAT WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS WANT TO KNOW IS TO WHAT BELTWAY ELITES AND GLOBAL INTERESTS ARE YOU PROSTITUTING YOURSELF AND OUR REGION?? POLITICAL PROSTITUION IS A NOBLE PROFESSION BUT OUR REGION IS NOT FOR SALE!

STRIP CLUB OWNERS ARE JOB CREATORS TOO! WE ARE NOT SURE AYN RAND WOULD APPROVE, BUT SHE WAS NO FUN ANYWAYS? MR. ROTHFUS, WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS HAVE HEARD FROM SOME WESTERN PA GRANDMAS WHO WANT TO START A STRIP CLUB TO HELP SUPPLEMENT THEIR RYAN VOUCHERS! WE HOPE YOU WILL HELP THESE WESTERN PA SENIOR JOB CREATORS MR. ROTHFUS! KEITH THE CANDIDATE, LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED; PARTY ON DEAR YOUNG GUN!! MR. ROTHFUS, PLEASE BE GENEROUS! DON’T GIVE WALL STREET LAWERS A BAD REP IN THE STRIP CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!

BREAKING NEWS! IT LOOKS THE HURRICAN IS GOING UPEND KEITH THE CANDIDATE’S ADDRESS TO THE RNC TAMPA CONVENTION! WELL, THIS WILL GIVE THE FORMER EMPLOYEE OF PAT ROBERTSON,KEITH ROTHFUS, EXTRA TIME TO DO LAP DANCES FOR BELTWAY ELITE DONORS OR THEIR MASTERS THAT WANT TO WAGE CLASS WAR ON SENIORS AROUND THE NATION AND ESPECIALLY RIGHT HERE IN WESTERN PA!

KEITH ROTHFUS: LIVING THE LIFE AND LIVING IT LARGE IN TAMPA, THE USA’S CAPITAL OF STRIP CLUBS! KEITH ROTHFUS, FORMER EMPLOYEE OF PAT ROBERTSON, I HOPE YOUR POLE DANCER IS COVERED BY HER SUGAR DADDY’S MEDICAL PLAN!!!

KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS! DID YOU EVER HEAR OF THE FRIENDS OF CANCER RESEARCH? YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE A CONGRESSMAN OR A MEMBER OF THE BELTWAY ELITE TO JOIN THIS WONDERFUL ADOVACY GROUP! KEITH ROTHFUS, WHY HAVE YOU BEEN MIA IN THE BATTLE TO SUPPORT CANCER RESEARCH? OUR AREA EMPLOYS MANY IN WORLD-CLASS CANCER RESEARCH, PARTIALLY FUNDED BY GOVERNMENT GRANTS! IS YOUR TOTAL LACK OF INTEREST IN CANCER RESEARCH BECAUSE PAUL RYAN AND YOUR TEA PARTY FRIENDS WANT TO GUT THE NIH’S BUDGET? WE HAVE REACHED OUT MICHAEL DOUGLAS. WE HOPE HE IS AS APPALLED AS WE ARE IN YOUR CAMPAIGN’S EFFORTS TO PLAY THE CANCER CARD AND EXPLOIT CANCER SURVIVORSHIP FOR PURELY PARTISAN POLITICAL PURPOSES WHICH CUTS CANCER RESEARCH AND DENIES ACCESS TO THE POOR! MR. DOUGLAS MAY BE SOON GRACING THE BURGH WITH A VISIT! WHEN MICHAEL DOUGLAS COMES TO TOWN MR. ROTHFUS, YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING TO BLAME BUT THE HYPOCRICY AND DESPARATION OF YOUR OWN CRUSADE TO RETURN TO THE BELTWAY!

KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS: WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS HAVE PREPARED A TRAVEL GUIDE FOR YOUR TAMPA EXCURSION WITH BELTWAY ELITES! IF YOU ARE AT ONE OF THESE GENTLEMEN’S CLUBS WITH YOUR FELLOW NRCC YOUNG GUNS DON’T LET THE SPIRIT MOVE YOU AND START DANCING TOO, LIKE THAT SEA OF GALILEE SKINNY DIPPER AND FELLOW YOUNG GUN REP. KEVIN YODER!!! ONE LAST THING: IT IS NOT PROPER STRIP CLUB ETIQUETTE TO HAVE HEATED DISCUSSIONS ABOUT “FORCIBLE RAPE” WITH YOUR FELLOW BELTWAY ELITE POLICY WONKS!

WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS WANT TO SUMMARIZE SOME POINTS WE MADE EARLIER IN THE WEEK! 1. WE SALUTE ALL CANCER SURVIVORS INCLUDING KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS. WE ADMIRE THE COURAGE OF ANYONE WHO HAS HAD TO FACE THIS MALADY. 2. WE ARE APPALLED THAT KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS HAS CHOSEN TO EXPLOIT HIS CANCER SURVIVOR STATUS FOR PARTISAN POLITICAL PURPOSES. 3. THE ROTHFUS CAMPAIGN’S DECISION TO PLAY THE CANCER CARD IS EVEN MORE GALLING WHEN MR. ROTHFUS HAS BEEN MIA IN THE FIGHT LOCALLY FOR BETTER CANCER CARE, SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH TO FIGHT CANCER, AND CANCER PREVENTION. LEADING UP TO THE TAMPA RNC CONVENTION AND MR. ROTHFUS’S BRIEF ADDRESS, WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS INTEND TO EDUCATE THE FORMER EMPLOYEE OF PAT ROBERTSON ON OPPORTUNITIES TO JOIN IN THE FIGHT AGAINST CANCER. LET’S START WITH UPCI THE AFFILIATE OF UPMC, OUR LARGEST EMPLOYER IN THE REGION AND A WORLD-CLASS MEDICAL SYSTEM. MR. ROTHFUS YOUR ETERNAL CRUSADE TO RETURN TO THE BELTWAY HAS NOT IMPROVED THE LIFE OF ONE CANCER VICTIM!