HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA. HAVE A WONDEROUS FOURTH.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DICK SCAIFE! WHILE WE DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO MANY OF YOUR VIEWS, YOUR PUBLICATION PROVIDES A LIVELY FORUM OF DEBATE ON ISSUES THAT EFFECT OUR WESTERN PA MIDDLE CLASS! WE WILL TOAST YOU AROUND OUR CITIZEN JOURNALIST'S BEVERAGE CENTER!!

READERS: GREAT NEWS! JAMES CARVILLE HAS AGREED TO SERVE AS AN EDITORIAL ADVISOR TO SAVE THE WESTERN PA MIDDLE CLASS!! JAMES SAYS WE NEED TO SHARPEN THE PRESENTATION OF OUR VIEWS LIKE A STILETTO! PLEASE PRE-ORDER JAMES'S NEW BOOK, "IT'S THE MIDDLE CLASS, STUPID!"

KEITH THE CANDIDATE’S ROTHFUS’S BOEHNER BREAKFAST FUND-RAISER AT THE ALLEGHENY COUNTRY CLUB HAD THAT CLANDESTINE ATMOSPHERE OF A CRIME FAMILY SUMMIT, BUT THEIR FOOD IS BETTER. AT FIRST SIGHT, WE MISTOOK THE HEAVILY BRONZED SPEAKER FOR ONE OF CASINO JACK’S CASINO INDIANS. WE REALLY FELT SORRY FOR MR. BOEHNER WHO IS OBVIOUSLY BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY THE TEA PARTY. WE WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE RELEASED HIM FROM THE TEA PARTY’S GRIP BUT SATURDAY MORNING WAS NOT THE TIME. WE DID NOT SEE ANY OTHER JOURNALIST WHO WENT TO JOURNALISM SCHOOL LIKE SALENA ZITO, TIM McNULTY OR MR. PROSE COVERING THIS EVENT. TO OUR NOTABLY ABSENT FELLOW JOURNALISTS ALL WE CAN SAY IS YOU WERE THE LUCKY ONES. IF WE HAVE TO HEAR ANOTHER SPELLBINDER FROM FORMER FEMA OFFICIAL ROTHFUS ON HOW HE WANTS TO RELIGHT AMERICA, THEN WE ARE GOING TO PROJECTILE VOMIT, EVEN IF THIS GUT REACTION IS AGAINST COUNTRY CLUB RULES! THANK YOU SPEAKER CANTOR FOR ALLOWING US TO SEE FIRST-HAND THE ROTHFUS CRUSADE TO RETURN TO THE BELTWAY!

IT IS VERY CLEAR THAT KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS’S CAMPAIGN WANTS TO BRING UP PRESIDENT OBAMA AT EVERY OCCASION POSSIBLE! MANY VOTERS IN THIS REGION HAVE SERIOUS RESERVATIONS ABOUT THE WAY OBAMA HAS GOVERNED AND WON’T SUPPORT HIS RE-ELECTION! WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS RESENT MR. ROTHFUS’S REPEATED ATTEMPTS TO USE THE PRESIDENT’S NAME AS A SUBLIMINAL CROSS-BURNING CEREMONY. WE SUGGEST MR. ROTHFU6S THAT YOUR CAMPAIGN SHOULD DO A REAL CROSS BURNING SO VOTERS CAN OPENLY SEE THE GAME YOU ARE PLAYING! OK-IF YOU WANT WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS TO DECLARE YOU THE MOST PRO-WHITE CANDIDATE WE WILL NOW!! BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR BACKERS SUPPORT FOR THE DE-INDUSTRIALIZATION OF THIS REGION (WHICH EVEN SANTORUM CALLED OUT) AND YOUR PLANS TO DESTORY MEDICARE! MR. ROTHFUS, STOP APPEALING TO THE WORST INSTINCTS OF OUR CITIZENS! WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS!! GOD BLESS AMERICA MR. ROTHFUS AND HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Turzai Gets the Colbert Treatment | PoliticsPA

Turzai Gets the Colbert Treatment | PoliticsPA

WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS ARE SO PLEASED THAT WE CAN ATTEND KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS’S FUNDRAISER TOMORROW! THANK YOU SPEAKER CANTOR FOR BUYING OUR TICKET! ESPECIALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM MIKE TURZAI ON THE VOTER SUPPRESSION PROGRAM! CAN ANYBODY TELL US WHAT IS THE DRESS CODE FOR CITIZEN JOURNALISTS AT THE ALLEGHENY COUNTRY CLUB?? WE ARE SO EXCITED WE MAY NEED AN EXTRA SHOT OF WILD TURKEY TONIGHT TO HELP US SLEEP!