Save Western Pennsylvania Middle Class

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Showing posts with label Borowitx Report. Show all posts

Monday, March 12, 2012

A Letter from Rick Santorum « Borowitz Report

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Labels: Borowitx Report, Rick Santorum

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Mission:

The Western Pennsylvania Middle Class is under threat of extinction. We represent a bi-partisan call to save the Middle Class life style we grew up with and cherish in our region during the 1950's, 60's and 70's. It is our premise that the extinction of the Western Pennsylvania Middle Class is not a historical accident but rather a betrayal of an entire generation which provided the manpower for several wars who made and bought products that fostered American-style prosperity around the planet. This blog will report on the Western Pennsylvania Middle Class; what we can do to preserve our way of life; call out those who betray the Middle Class and be a beacon of hope in creating a Western Pennsylvania future in which all of our citizens have a chance to prosper and enjoy the good life that this region offers all of us. This blogs mandate is to fight for Western Pennsylvania Middle Class citizens as our primary cause. We do not believe our citizens have to be sold out nor should we be sold out to create the Middle Class of India or China. We are proud to be Americans and will not tolerate second class citizens at the hands of the political hacks and enablers.

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WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS ARE SO PLEASED THAT WE CAN ATTEND KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS’S FUNDRAISER TOMORROW! THANK YOU SPEAKER CANTOR FOR BUYING OUR TICKET! ESPECIALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM MIKE TURZAI ON THE VOTER SUPPRESSION PROGRAM! CAN ANYBODY TELL US WHAT IS THE DRESS CODE FOR CITIZEN JOURNALISTS AT THE ALLEGHENY COUNTRY CLUB?? WE ARE SO EXCITED WE MAY NEED AN EXTRA SHOT OF WILD TURKEY TONIGHT TO HELP US SLEEP!
FINAL WORD ON NERD PROM-WE COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT ANY BETTER
SAVE WESTERN PA MIDDLE CLASS REJECTS SANTORUM CONTRACEPTION PLAN: RICK YOU CAN'T TURN OUR HARD-WORKING AND OVER BURDENED WOMEN INTO BABY FACTORIES
WHO DE-INDUSTRIALIZED WESTERN PA?
AS LUCK WOULD IT RICK SANTORUM’S SUPERPAC ENDORSED KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS, TODAY! ARE SANTORUM AND KEITH ROTHFUS, FORMER EMPLOYEE OF PAT ROBERTSON GOING TO DENY YOU WESTERN PA WORKING WOMEN BIRTH CONTROL? WILL THEY STAND BY APPLAUDING WHILE EXTREMIST REPUBLICANS IN THE STATE LEGISLATURE DO THEIR DIRTY WORK? AS WE WARNED YOU WESTERN PA MIDDLE CLASS WOMEN, START GOOGLE SEARCHING THE RHYTHM METHOD! MR. ROTHFUS IS A CLOSET EXTREMIST. HIS WORK FOR THE MOST EXTREME RIGHT-WING LAW SCHOOL IN THE NATION SHOULD BE EXPOSED BY JOURNALISTS WHO WENT TO JOURNALISM SCHOOL! WE CITIZEN JOURNALISTS ARE DOING WHAT WE CAN TO WARN YOU. BY THE WAY ARE ANY OF THE SUPERPAC ADS BEING FUNDED BY PAT ROBERTSON’S EMPIRE? MR. ROTHFUS WESTERN PA WOMEN AND THEIR FAMILIES HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW!
DOES THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT CARE MORE ABOUT ITS PEOPLE THAN DO BELTWAY GROUPS SUPPORTING KEITH ROTHFUS CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE OF THE WESTERN PA MIDDLE CLASS? WE BELIEVE THE ANSWER IS A RESOUNDING YES! WE CITIZENS IN THE PA 12TH NEED A CONGRESSMAN LIKE MARK CRITZ NOT BEHOLDEN TO SHADOWY BELTWAY INTEREST GROUPS AND THEIR LEADERS LIKE LOBBYIST GROVER NORQUIST! PLEASE TELL KEITH ROTHFUS THIS DISTRICT CANNOT BE BOUGHT!
TOMORROW, LIKE A MOTH TO THE FLAME, KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS IS DRAWN BACK TO HIS BELTWAY CLASS WARRIOR MENTOR PAUL RYAN! WESTERN PA SENIORS, SEE THE FOLLOWING VIDEO AND SEE HOW YOU WILL BE TREATED WHEN YOU QUESTION BELTWAY ELITES ABOUT TAKING YOUR BENEFITS TO LOWER TAXES FOR THE WEALTHIEST!
WE’RE SO EXCITED: THE BIG DOG, WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON IS COMING! OUR CITIZEN JOURNALIST EDITOR ADVISED HIS SENIOR COLUMNISTS TO BRING AN EXTRA SUPPLY OF ADULT DIAPERS IN CASE THEIR BLADDERS AND THE CLINTON ELECTRICITY GET THE BETTER OF THEM!
GROVER NORQUIST WANTS TO BUY HIMSELF A CONGRESSMAN! WILL JACK ABRAMOFF BE CAMPAIGNING SOON FOR KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS? DID PAT ROBERTSON SEND IN NORQUIST FOR ROTHFUS! WESTERN PA VOTERS NEED TO UNDERSTAND ROTHFUS’S TIES TO PAT ROBERTSON!
AS WE REPORTED YESTERDAY, THE US CHAMBER CAME TO THE STEEL CITY TO LOOK FOR AN ASSET TO OUTSOURCE TO CHINA AND PROMOTE THE CANDIDACY OF KEITH THE CANDIDATE ROTHFUS. WELL IT SEEMS THAT ANSHAN, CHINA’S STEEL CITY, WANTS AN NFL TEAM AND PARTY AUTHORITIES WERE HOPING THE US CHAMBER COULD CONVINCE AREA LEADERS TO OUTSOURCE THE STEELERS. WE CAN’T IMAGINE THIS HAPPEING SINCE THE ROONEY FAMILY SUPPORTS THE MIDDLE CLASS AND WESTERN PA! BUT……THE US CHAMBER IS VERY PERSUAIVE, THE STEELERS WOULDN’T BE BOUND BY ANY UNFAIR NFL LABOR AGREEMENTS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY ROTHFUS DOESN’T CARE BECAUSE HE IS A BUFFALO BILLS FAN!

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